Furthering Stereotypes

http://www.redandblack.com/2009/09/22/pledge-now-says-fraternity-did-not-haze-him/

As we discussed in earlier classes, while trying to find an article about fraternity and sorority life much of the information I found was negative.  Many of the articles were discussing the stereotypes that we had previously mentioned in class.  Almost every article I found had something to do with hazing, alcohol abuse or a chapter being stripped of their letters at different schools across the country.  Being a member of greek life I absolutely HATE this.  There absolutely has to be at least one chapter across the country that has done something positive!  Researching news sources you wouldn’t believe that.  After searching for a while I was actually able to find a story about something positive.  It seems that many greek organizations were founded upon service.  With that being said why is it so hard to find information about fraternities and sororities participating in service?  I know we are all supposed to do that but there are many cases everyday in which we do uphold the values, principles and traditions set forth by our organizations and those go unmentioned.  The fact that these things mentioned fall into the category of what we are “supposed” to do usually leaves these acts unnoticed because it is exactly what we joined the organization for. 

The article I decided to blog about happens to be about a hazing incident that occurred at the University of Georgia.  I decided to write about this article because for once the fraternity was not at fault and they were made out to be a scapegoat.  Ry Thomas Mercado was a Pi Kappa Alpha pledge at the University of Georgia.  He was caught in the possession of alcohol but was under the age of consumption.  As a result he claimed that he had the alcohol because the fraternity was hazing him.  After the investigation started he decided to issue a statement saying that he lied to law enforcement and wasn’t really being hazed or forced to drink alcohol. 

There are a lot of interesting facts being left out of this article that raise a few questions.  Mercado currently refuses to comment on his status as a member of the fraternity.  This begs the question was he offered membership in exchange for a retraction of his statement?  Although this could be a possible occurrence it’s somewhat difficult to believe that someone would retract their statements for just membership into an organization, especially now when he most likely will face more charges such as issuing a false statement and obstruction of justice.  There are just so many interesting things that this case has to offer.  I mean was avoiding an underage really that important as to throw potential friends and brothers under the bus?  But with everyone involved in the case refusing to comment, is there a potential coverup going on here?  

The stereotypes and negative images associated with fraternity and sorority life have gotten to the point where they are being used as a way out of situations which may not even actually involve greek life.  It just getting ridiculous that the media can find almost nothing good to say about greek life.  We all understand that negativity and tragedy attracts viewers/readers but how are we supposed to stay motivated to continue down the right path when all we hear is negativity?!  In my case my organization and what it means to me is more than enough but I really feel it’s about time universities and others begin recognizing the good that greeks can do for our communities.  I mean there has to be a small percentage of us who join for more than interest from the opposite sex, parties and alcohol right?  Well it’s hard for the average student/citizen to see beyond those things because our values and all the good that we do are almost never put on display.  

The Bystander Effect

The bystander effect.  We’ve all heard the horrible story of Kitty Genovese and the consequences that came along with people in that situation deciding not to help.  Standing by while someone is in distress without lending a hand can be dangerous.  It’s hard to think back and realize some of the times that I have been in that position, the mindset of a bystander.

While thinking back to some of the times that I’ve been a bystander, there is just one situation that is burned into my memory.  I was in middle school and around that time a lot of people are immature.  As a result of our immaturity we thought watching people fight was funny and the “cool” thing to do.  There was one particular fight that I’ll never forget.  Myself and a few of my friends were standing around waiting for a class to start and we saw two girls start fighting.  Being the immature kids we were, we ran over to watch.  In all honesty this was quite possibly the most brutal fight I’ve ever seen.  It was completely one-sided.  Eventually it was no longer just a few of us, towards the end of the fight there had to be about 15 people watching and not one single person lifted a hand to help the girl who was being brutally beaten.  We all sat and watched and I can still see the blank stare on the girls face and teachers had to carry her away. 

During the fight I was just caught up in watching.  I felt horrible but not enough to stop it.  I didn’t know the severity of the situation at that point.  My feelings after the fight were completely different.  Till this day I can’t believe I sat back and watched that happen.  I mean the severity of the beating that the girl took is ridiculous.  Not only did I sit back and watch, approximately 14 or so other people did too.  We watched someone get hurt, could have easily stopped it and prevented further damage but we didn’t.  From the day the fight happened until now, I’ve always felt horrible for not helping.  

Being a bystander doesn't just affect, you or the person you aren't helping.  The bystander affects so many people beyond that.  The implications of being a bystander are huge.  SO many things that happen are preventable if someone would just be courageous enough to step up and decide that enough is enough.  This applies to greek life as well.  Excessive drinking, hazing and many other negative issues associated with greek life would be on their way to being obsolete but it takes everyone to make something like this happen.  I just wonder at what point will it really be enough to make the greek community as a whole stand up and speak out.  Lives have already been lost due to some of the issues that should be changed such as hazing etc.  Who knows what it will actually take but hopefully it doesn't take us too long as a community to realize that some things do need to be changed in order to make sure that we are moving forward as one greek community, even though we may be spread across different councils.  

Oath

Oaths throughout the Greek community are beyond important.  The oaths that fraternities/sororities set forth are the some of the basic “rules” that the organization sets forth for its members.  Everyone takes an oath to uphold the principles that the fraternity has set forth.  Many people don’t truly take into account what these oaths really mean.  I think one of the biggest problems within our community is the lack of research we do when choosing our organizations, which results in some people not holding themselves accountable and making sure that they are upholding these values that they promised to when they took these “oaths”.  Oaths aren’t just something to be said so that you will be allowed membership in to an organization.  If you are going to take an oath then it is your duty to uphold these values to the best of your ability.  Everyone makes mistakes and will slip up eventually but consistently ignoring the oath you took goes against that. 

When I decided to take the oath of my fraternity and uphold their values and conduct myself in a way that would make my founders proud, I took that to heart.  Since I’ve joined I have tried to make sure that anything I do regarding the fraternity is positive and in line with the oath I took.  Basically in my opinion oaths shouldn’t be taken lightly.  If you decide to make a promise that you will uphold these values then you need to make sure that this decision falls in line with your own beliefs and values.  An oath is promise and when you join an organization sometimes you have to put the organization before yourself.  Not all of the time but sometimes it is necessary to ensure that the organization is moving in the right direction.  Oaths are put in place to make sure that people don't stray to far from the original goals of the founders. 

The question is are you big enough to put the organizations values in front of your own?  If you choose the right organization then their values should line up with your own making it even easier to uphold those values and stay in line with the oath that you/I chose to take. 

Citizenship

Citizenship is defined in our text as, "centering on active community participation as a result of responsibility to the communities in which people live."

The text makes sure to state that citizenship in the context of the leadership model means more than just membership within a certain community but active participation in that community.  It states that citizenship when used in this context means social or civic responsibility.

The number one way that I feel I display citizenship within the fraternity sorority community would be through communication and inclusion.  Fraternity and sorority life is at times looked down upon because there is so much hatred and dislike between other fraternities and sororities.  This casts a negative light on our fraternity/sorority community as a whole, people tend to forget the positive things that we do as a result and when all people see is negativity it doesn't allow us to show just how important being good citizens is to our community as a whole.  Service is definitely another way in which I try to display citizenship within the fraternity/sorority community.  Trying to give back time and service to the outside community is pretty much a larger goal in our community but it also helps lighten the perception that all greek life does is party.

My chapter displays citizenship within the fraternity/sorority community by trying to support and participate in other chapters events as much as possible.  We as a chapter have been trying be more active in supporting other organizations because at one point we pretty much kept to ourselves and as a result we weren't very well liked by the administration but we have come to realize that greek life is about more than just Iota Phi Theta.  We are all similar and all share similar values and experiences.  We try to participate in other organizations community service projects so that campus is able to see that we don't all hate each other and can be positive and actively participate in greek life.  If we all center on serving the community than we should all be able to do so together? Right?

I think service, scholarship and participation in university events are the three main ways that the fraternity/sorority community display citizenship to the university community.  Service and scholarship are two of the main reasons greek life as a whole exists.  Some people tend to lose sights of these values and it make greek life all about partying and drinking but it was for those reasons (scholarship and service) that many of our orgs were founded. These values aren't always put on display but many times they are.  Actively participating in organizations outside of greek life is very important and many of the leaders of other organization around campus are greek.  This is great for the fraternity/sorority community and shows just how important citizenship is to our community.

Congruence

Congruence is something that we discussed in my leadership class last week.  Congruence wasn’t something that I thought about a lot before this class and it definitely wasn’t something that I associated with good leadership.  After having done the readings and discussed this concept in class its very clear that congruence is beyond important for those who want to be positive, effective leaders. 

My Mom is one of the MOST IMPORTANT women/people in my life.  I love her and would do anything in the world for her and growing up congruence is one of the things that she preached.  She always told me to make sure that I stay true to myself and never change for anyone but myself.  She has always made it clear to me that living life based off of your personal beliefs is important and now I take that same approach in my leadership positions.  It’s hard trying to take a stance on every adverse issue that comes your way as a leader but when you know yourself inside and out it can help those decisions that much easier.  

When you have defined what your beliefs are and act in congruence with those beliefs it makes it that much easier to stay committed to the task at hand.  When you are easily swayed from your beliefs it can ruin your experience as a leader and even upset those who are considered your followers.  It can be difficult at times to makes sure your actions match up with and are consistent with your beliefs but no one had ever claimed that being a leader was easy and if they did, I can tell you from experience they lied.  Every action done by a leader is going to be scrutinized but if your actions are consistent with your beliefs what can people say? Absolutely nothing, they may not agree with you but they have to respect your commitment to what you believe in.

Mount Leadership Society

While thinking of an organization I'm involved in to discuss for this weeks post, the first thing that came to mind was my fraternity, since this is a greek leadership class.  Once I really started thinking about the question though I decided the best possible choice for me would be to discuss my scholars program.  Mount Leadership Society.  Quite possibly the best decision I've made during my college years would be joining "Mount" as we like to call it.

Mounts Ideals seem to fall right in line with mine.  It's a program dedicated to furthering the leadership skills of individuals through community service.  I guess the most obvious reason I decided to pick this organization was because of my familiarity with the org, seeing as I am a member of this organization.  But another reason I decided to talk about this organization was because of the way that our director (Kathy Krajnak) and those associated with the org display their values.  Although each member is a college student many of those who are in the program always make sure that they are upholding the organizations values.  That isn't to say that members aren't prone to have momentary lapses in judgment or that none of us make mistakes, because no one is perfect but there are many situations where we sit back and think, "Would Kathy be upset if she found out about this situation", or even "How will I/we be looked upon once people find out about this situation?"  Mount's values are almost always in the back of our heads because they are so deeply ingrained within each member.  The values we are taught while in the program are apparent in every activity we do.  Every community service, every event and every meeting we attend all have one thing in common, they are almost always covering one of Mount's essential principles.  Some of which are 1) creating and nurturing relationships 2) being prepared and following though 3) honor of integrity 4) valuing individuals and 5) willingness to teach others.

I know Mount's values because as previously stated, they are present in everything associated with Mount.  Almost every educational opportunity put on by mount in some way shape or form embodies one of the essentials.  By making sure that these "essentials" are present in all interactions they become second nature for the individuals within the organization, thus we are always representing Mount and putting on display their/our values.

My Personal Core Values

There are so many core values and ideas that many different people hold close to their hearts.  While thinking about what I would write for this post I realized that there were way to many that I really identified for them to all be listed here but I decided I would pick a few that really were important to me. 

Honesty is one of those values that everyone will probably list, and I'm definitely no different.  Almost every relationship is built on a mutual respect and understanding that for that relationship, whether business or pleasure, to work, there must be honesty between the two parties for that relationship to succeed.  Being honest in many situations can be the easiest alternative for both parties although the truth may be hard to stomach.  Once trust is lost it's almost impossible to get it back.  

Altruism is another value that means a lot to me.  I'm very big on friendship and when someone is in need I'm always willing to help no matter what.  Sometimes this can be a fault but at the end of the day it's how I was raised.  My mother is the exact same way.  She will do absolutely anything to help someone out as long as it's in the confines of the law.  She taught me if people see that you're willing to help them out, with no ulterior motives then they will do the same thing for you.  This is something that I've always tried to incorporate into the relationships that I have with people and it has always paid off and has also helped me establish many friendships with some really great people.  Many greek organizations, including my own were founded upon the principle of service and altruism and that's one of the many reasons I decided to join a greek organization, to continue upholding this value that I means so much to myself as well as my family.  

Humility is something that I try to practice in almost every arena of life.  Not only do I make sure that I practice humility, it also factors into my decisions to associate with certain people.  I'm very close to my maternal grandfather and this is one of his core values that he upholds in every situation he comes across.  It's always good to stay humble because it keeps you striving for more that way you are never satisfied and are able to combat complacency.  

Individuality is a value that's always been important to me.  My mom who is a huge influence on my life has always preached that I should never conform to fit anyone else's standards.  She taught me that as long as you uphold the law, always be yourself and stay true to your beliefs, never change for anyone.  It was a huge factor in my decision to join my fraternity.  Individuality is something that my fraternity believes is very important.  We preach that you can be the same person after you become an Iota that you were before.  You can bring your own ideals and that's one thing I love about my organization.

Although there are many values which I try to uphold in my life these are a few that I really take to heart. These are a few that I try to practice and I try to make sure everyone that I associate with has the same values.